Friday, 9 February 2018


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In this movie downsizing is the medical procedure of reducing humans to a miniature version of themselves. I think if you're mad enough to go through with this you need a shrink.

Downsizing is necessary due to overpopulation and not being able to find an alternative energy source. Ive thought of one,  Lucuzade ketchup.

Before they made Matt Damon shorter he was called Matthew Damon.

At one point in the film he wasn't paying any attention to what was going on and was stood right next to a fully grown human, he looked miles away.

I give this movie 5 marks(immons) out of 10.

Sunday, 21 January 2018

The Commuter

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I thought i'd get into the spirit of the movie and watch it at a cinema en route to tonights gig.

Liam Neeson plays Michael MacCauley, an insurance salesman who takes the same train journey to work every day. This seems a pleasant experience as before he is in the train he is seen getting on with the other passengers.

On this particular day Michael is fired from his job and then approached by a mysterious women asking him to find a passenger on the train in exchange for £100,000.
Should you do something potentially horrible in exchange of a wad of cash? Liam Neeson must have thought to himself just before agreeing to make this movie.

She says he has to put a tracker in the passengers bag, I guess this is incase they get hungry .

So, what should he do? Masterbation was out of the question because she told him he wasn't allowed to get off.

When his life is threatened he has to decide to what to do, being that he was an insurance salesman, i'm sure he's got it covered.

I give this movie 5 Marks(immons) out of 10.

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Baby Driver

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I saw a trailer for this film which is about a guy with a suped-up car, don't watch it if you're not a fan of spoilers.

The guys name is Baby and he's the getaway driver for a gangster. I think they missed an opportunity and could have had a sign in the back of the car saying Baby on board.

So Kevin Spacey is the leader of the mob, his character makes people do things they don't want to do which was quite a stretch for Spacey.

Baby is obsessed with music and finds himself in trouble when its discover that he's been making musical recordings of gang members conversations, I think he was mixing with the wrong people.

His love interest is a waitress who tells him different ways to get out of his life of crime, I thought she was the one supposed to be getting tips.

9 Marks(immons) out of 10.

Daddy's Home

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The movie opens by establishing that Will Ferrells character isn't getting the love he wants from his step kids. They show a picture that one of them drew of him with a knife in his head, not the best piece of art but she had a stab at it.

The kids real dad, Dusty, is coming back to visit and when Will Ferrell goes to meet him at the airport he is brushed off my the dad but it should be the other way around because he's Dusty.

The fathers then start competing for the children love. Dusty builds a skaters half pipe in the garden which we then see has its ups and downs.
Will then brought the daughter a pony, she kept screaming with joy and then went a little horse.

6 Marks(immons) out of 10.

Miracle on 34th Street

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This movie is about a department store Santa who goes on trial to prove he is the real father Christmas. Santa is meant to be chubby so he would fit in in a department store because the customers look round.

At one point he is fired from the store, im surprised there wasn't a clause in his contract.

But I suppose every year to be able to deliver all the presents he has to get the sack.

Its a classic. 8 Marks(immons) out of 10.

Monday, 15 January 2018

Power Rangers

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When they released this movie the makers said they were proud of the diversity of the characters, but the power rangers have always been different colours.

At the beginning of the movie there was a clash in personalities and they were not getting on but once they all morphed into one monster they became very attached to each other.

There are a lot of enemies to fight including robot dinosaurs. If i were to name these i’d call them R2Dtworanasaurus rex.

When they first become Power Rangers they find themselves trapped beneath prehistoric alien space rock, I was hoping for a meteor storyline.

This wasn't as bad as I was expecting. 5 Marks(immons) out of 10

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Molly's Game

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I asked my mate if he wanted to come to the cinema, he said "is anyone else coming and what are you watching", I said "Molly's Game", he said "I don't know her but what are we watching?".

Jessica Chastain plays Molly Bloom, a high stakes poker hostess. She hosted to some of LA's richest men including a very famous actor, she found out he was good at poker first hand.

She would provide them with food and drink. The fruit selection wasn't great because you would hear the players say they only had a pear.

Molly is then arrested for illegal gambling, she doesn't know how they found out and is annoyed, I should think the FBI bug her.

As well as other crimes, she is also accused of prostitution. She pays her lawyer (Idris Elba) to get her off, which is the sort of thing they are accusing her of doing.

This is an excellent movie in which Jessica Chastain shines. I give it 8 Marks(immons) out of 10.